TON3X™ 's Testimony

I've been holding onto this gem for a minute, now. Now that it's public, here's TON3X™ 's testimony as read on (Big shouts to A-natural and TON3X™)

After all of the buzz surrounding the Lexi interview, things started spinning out of control. What was said, what wasn’t said, and how after you tell the truth even that truth has the propensity to get twisted. However, it’s never a crime to face yourself and speak your heart. And you must have heart to tell the world who you are.

I never thought in a million years that I would find the courage to speak so freely about where I am as a human, a man and a child of God. After much soul searching and Bible reading, I had to come to some decisions about myself that I knew weren’t going to be the easiest to confront, especially since I was a prominent figure in the religious community and gospel music at large. How would my family deal with this when it aired? And would the content be congruent with what was actually filmed after post production? I have to say that Lexi kept her word about professional journalism, and if people watch all three parts, they will see the totality of what was covered — not just the sensationalism.

I scheduled the interview, but I had no idea of the nature of the questions. I mean, I have yet to see faith-based journalists explicitly present these kind of questions to anyone else, but that’s why they asked me, because they know I’m going to give them an answer. It was spontaneous, but I had already come to terms with myself and knew that I would be able to answer with clarity, calmness and truth. Why ? Because I was tired of being asked about my sexuality, and I was still on a journey to find the fullness of what that is. To be honest, I’m still on that journey.

I’m studying daily on the subject of same-sex matters. I’m tired of echoing what I’ve been told. I want to know for myself the true interpretation of scriptures in Biblical text and well as scientific documentation.

You know, it’s not easy growing up in a Pentecostal/Evangelical church, where everyone is pretty much anti-gay, although it’s common knowledge that some of the most anointed musicians and singer-songwriters have, or have dealt with, same-sex attraction at some point. For me, it was particularly taboo because of my upbringing and the ministerial call on my life. I then had to think about the repercussions of this revelation. But I knew I had to get free. That interview was cathartic for me.

It turns out that was the very first time an award-winning mainstream gospel artist openly admitted these things about his or her sexual orientation. I didn’t really think about that either until after the fact, when someone mentioned it to me. Believe me, that’s nothing that I’m happy about. It actually kind of sucks. I had no blueprint; I was actually making one. I had no clue of what would happen; I would have to wait and see. People make telling the truth sound so easy, but it’s not. Not because you don’t know whether it’s the right thing to do, but because you don’t know what people are going to do with it once they hear it. And, more importantly, what part of the truth they really gonna hear.

There was so much more in that interview that I thought was, unfortunately, overlooked. So much more to my story then the sexuality part, but most church folks are sexually repressed anyway, so they naturally gravitate right toward that type of subject matter. I noticed parts one and three weren’t juicy enough for the church or the public, yet they were the key to the whole puzzle. I talked about my same-sex attraction. I don’t think that there was any new information here. I’ve addressed this issue in my music for years. But for many, I guess, it was a shock of sorts. But believe me, it wasn’t for shock value. The real story is not cute, ladies and gentlemen. Freedom, my friends, is not for cowards.

Amazingly, after the interview, I could not believe that 96 percent of the responses were positive. Many were commending me on my poise, my intellect and the way I handled the entire process. No, everyone didn’t agree with every point I made, but they had to applaud my courage for speaking out on such a private matter. I felt the need to address it candidly because we’ve been skating around the subject of homosexuality and the church for a long time — enjoying the benefits of same-gender-loving people, yet abusing them from the pulpits.

No one said stop preaching against fornication, lust, lying, stealing or adultery. What I am saying is that we need to stop focusing on people’s private lives and sexual orientation and preach the truth of God’s salvation. Whatever your faith may be, no one has the right to blatantly disrespect or harass another human being. Beyond that, we have no need to go into people’s closets and private matters. Teach the word, and let God handle the rest. His love is much greater than His judgment.

This is the position I am holding: God’s love is indeed for everyone. Although that interview is being dubbed my “coming out,” that was the least of what was being conveyed. Healthy, committed, monogamous relationships on both sides of the spectrum were mentioned, particularly marriage for a man and a woman (even though I have not come to terms about gay marriage). I still feel commitment is much better than promiscuity. Abstinence, of course, is ideal, but in this generation, it’s just not a likely reality.

The other reactions are another story. Within no time, every engagement that I had to preach or sing in churches or faith-based concert venues was canceled. I suppose they did not want a demon-possessed homosexual on their stage or pulpit, although I never stopped preaching or teaching the same doctrine and principles that I spoke on before. I’m still the same dude today. I believe that people still have not seen the interview themselves; they are going by what they’ve heard someone else tell them.

I was the same person back then as I am now, the one that God used to help a lot of people. The phobias that I am witnessing are scary. People who serve this loving God are showing so much hate for one of His beloved children. And I understand where they are coming from, because it’s never really been addressed this way. I’m standing out here naked. And, frankly, people are angry.

Some said I should have shown remorse; some say that I’m leading people astray. All I did was tell the truth. It’s no wonder why people lie within this system. Not because they believe in everything man says but because they have bills to pay. The hypocrisy of this should have left me quite burnt out with the whole situation. So then I had to shift my focus off of religion and move toward being a pioneer. Charting new territory for an oppressed people that truly love God and have been ostracized beyond belief — the sheep of another fold.

I speak of them in a song called ‘This is All of Me.’ I was speaking for all the “kids” around the world. Basically the kids are boys and girls that are LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender), a group that has a 30 percent suicide rate among gay and bisexual youth. And the young men with more “feminine gender-role characteristics” and those who recognized their same-sex orientation at an early age and acted on those sexual feelings seem to face the highest risk of self-destructive behavior.

Because no one is affirming the existence of these young people. No one is showing them love. No one is showing them life or God or beauty. They are only shown hell, death, bigotry and damnation. But even for this community and other social outcasts, there is still room at the cross.

I will continue my recording activism, advocating fair treatment of all people, including these people, my own people, with whom I not only sympathize but empathize. I have experienced firsthand what it’s like to be teased, abused, yelled at and preached against. I’ve been told that I am worse than a serial killer. No one can ever tell me that I willfully opted for choosing this road. I wanted it out of me. In the past, I had even attempted to take my own life, but God’s mercy said no.

As I continue down this path of self-discovery, my prayer is that others will see that we are your sons, daughters, cousins, nieces and nephews silently crying inside, coping with fear and uncertainty. We need love and affirmation. We need to know that it’s okay to talk about these issues in a safe family environment and that we will be respected not just for our art and talents but for the beautiful human beings that God created us to be. After all, He does not make mistakes. I would not be here typing had it not been for the prayers of the righteous and real friends who understand the challenge of taking the road less traveled. May we all show love toward one another. The greatest command is love another. Thank you for listening to my testimony.

TON3X™ 's Baposto.g.i.c. Rebuttal (Audio)

Here's TON3X™'s response to Bryan Wilson's "new" concept.


Bryan Wilson "Creates" "Bapostogic Beginnings"

An interesting video hit the web a few days ago from Gospel singer Bryan Wilson, who claims to have created a concept called "Bapostogic" and plans to release "Bapostogic Beginnings"...

Here's the thing: Bryan Wilson did not create "Bapostogic". It is a TRADEMARKED brand and concept from Gospel/R&B artist TON3X™, who released "The Bapost.o.g.i.c." mixtape in August of 2008. One year ago, of which I did a REVIEW.



Exclusive: New TON3X™: "The Details"

From the forthcoming album, "A Brilliant Catastrophe", coming 11/27/09

"The Office" Season Premiere Now On Online

One of my favorite shows on TV, "The Office" is now streaming its season premier on the 'net. The season premier, "Gossip", first aired on the 17th. Check it out below.

You are not ready....

...for what's to come.


Word Is....

...the ""A Brilliant Catastrophe" (ABC) multimedia campaign will hit its peak with something so monumental, that no one will ever see it coming.... Stay tuned.

TON3X™: "A Brilliant Catastrophe" Media Campaign Continues...

"Living Out Loud With Darian" sat down with TON3X™ to address the infamous Lexi interview, coming out, freedom, and his upcoming project, "A Brilliant Catastrophe"

Y'all ain't ready...


TON3X™ and A-Natural: 5 Questions

The multimedia campaign for "A Brilliant Catasrophe" (ABC) begins today.
An early treat last night, however, was from my homie A-Natural, who conducted a "5 Question" interview, along with a little word association.
The multimedia campaign continues with more later today.
In the meantime, peep this:

PS: You can visit A-Natural's blog, "The Mind Of A-Natural", HERE!

Exclusive: Prince Rehearsal Track! Listen Now!

Exclusive: Prince Rehearsal Track! Listen Now!

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T0N3X™ - "A Brilliant Catastrophe"

The multimedia campaign begins shortly.
Get ready, children.

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"Billy Eckstein he ain't, baby"

Fam. Really. Don't quit your day job. And if you don't have one... please, for the love of God, get one. It's people like you that are f----n' up the industry.

RIP, 2Pac: Lost Interview Part II

For all the cats who remember, this interview was the basis of the legendary mixtape, "Makaveli Part II" that was released around '97-'98.

Heavy Metal Church!!!

Check out this Heavy Metal Church in Colombia!!!
Shout-out to Papa Dukes, with thanks to MSN.CCOM
Video after the jump...

When is Mariah Gonna Stop Frontin'?

Here's a French radio interview with Mariah Carey where she denies Eminem ever smacked it.


A friend and brother in Christ of mine recently blogged this UNBELIEVEABLY profound statement with merely a small paragraph.

Kanye Apologizes on The Jay Leno Show

Very touching... and real! Big ups to Yeezy.

RIP, Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze, actor and dancer, best known from hit movies "Dirty Dancing", "Roadhouse",  and "Ghost", passed away this morning from complications stemming from pancreatic cancer. He was 57 years old.
This year of loss is unbelieveable.
RIP, Mr. Swayze. Here's one for the road...

Mary Mary featuring NE-YO: "God In Me" REMIX

New Janet Jackson: "MAKE ME"


"Michael Jackson's This Is It" Trailer

MTV's MJ Tribute

Madonna opened up the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards with a poignant speech dedicated to Michael Jackson, and was followed by a dance tribute to a few of his biggest hits, and the MJ tribute ended with Janet Jackson singing with MJ's video footage from "Scream". Beautiful. Your thoughts?

What Has Sesame Street Come To?

Sesame Street has resorted to showcasing kids' terminology of their bowel movements and urine. Jim Henson, we miss you. SMH.

Michael Jackson "This Is It" Movie Details!

Here's how ThatGrapeJuice.Net reports it:
1) Trailers are mostly done, and we're waiting partly on the footage from the funeral which is being added in now. Expect to see the first ad premiere next weekend. I tried to press him on more info regarding the VMA's but couldn't get a confirmation.

2) The movie is not a 2 hour concert like many fans thought. In fact the movie is simply a documentary based around the This Is It tour, it shows Jackson in his final days and includes his death, aftermath, and reaction. Clips from the memorial and funeral will be used.

3) There will be some footage of MJ performing, much longer then the 3-4 minute snippet released at the end of June by AEG. You will see MJ in his dressing room, mingling and directing, plus one scene where he talks to the camera. Basically, it will show Jackson in his final months alive.

4) The movie is between 100 and 130 minutes in length.

5) The plan for the DVD is to have it out in late November by Thanksgiving or early December at the latest, although my source revealed this maybe a long shot if they extend the 2 week showing to 3 or 4 weeks (which is possible).

6) The DVD will contain the theatrical version in its whole plus over 2 hours of Jackson performing, warming up his vocals, singing, and in full costume. The most spectacular footage is by far from the Staples Center in LA which I'm told will "blow fans away". This extra footage will be a special feature on the DVD along with many other treats that fans will love.

7) Finally, the CD soundtrack I'm told will be released after the movie, most likely sometime in November to coincide with the DVD launch and WILL include a new song Jackson recorded in his last 2 years alive. Apparently the song is "off the hook" and is currently being worked on by producers who are putting the finishing touches on it and is being considered to be issued as a single all around the world.

    I, for one, cannot WAIT to see how this is gonna turn out.

The Judas Syndrome

   This blog isn't about what you think. The first mention of Judas would lead one to ultimately think of  betrayal. While I will touch on that subject briefly, this particular blog is regarding repentance.

From the Book of Matthew, Chapter 27: (NLT) :
 1 Very early in the morning the leading priests and the elders met again to lay plans for putting Jesus to death. 2 Then they bound him, led him away, and took him to Pilate, the Roman governor.
 3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, realized that Jesus had been condemned to die, he was filled with remorse. So he took the thirty pieces of silver back to the leading priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he declared, “for I have betrayed an innocent man.”
   “What do we care?” they retorted. “That’s your problem.”
 5 Then Judas threw the silver coins down in the Temple and went out and hanged himself...
    There is a 2-fold issue here. One one side of the proverbial coin is the obvious, the one that most Christians point out: Judas' betrayal and subsequent guilt.  The other side is a little less obvious: Judas' inability to repent.
         Interestingly enough,  verse 3 of the KJV translation says that Judas "repented himself". 
     Let's look at the word "repent".  "Repent" is defined in Webster's dictionary as " [turning] from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life". 
       A better translation of verse 3, in my opinion, is in the NLT  which uses "remorse" in replacement.
There is a difference between remorse or regret and repentance. You can be remorseful of your transgressions and sins, but it is another thing entirely to repent. Judas took the route that most of us take when faced with self-condemnation or condemnation from the Holy Spirit. We hide, we run away, shut ourselves off from hearing God by putting our fingers in our ears like children, or worse yet, we self-destruct out of guilt.
    Rather than actually repent and be made whole, Judas was remorseful. That remorse and guilt was Satan's green light to manipulate Judas into suicide.
    My point is this: rather than subject ourselves to ongoing guilt, self-loathing, and self-destructive behaviors, wouldn't it be so much easier to just REPENT and MOVE ON?
      You made your bed, you laid in it, now get OUT of the bed! Don't stay in the bed forever because the more you think,  the more you blink. As the saying goes, "an idle mind is the Devil's playground". 
     Ask God to forgive you. ONCE. He'll forgive you (even if you screw up again- though it's not a hall pass to do so). That's it. Move on. Don't keep asking for forgiveness for something that you've LONG been forgiven for. That would make Jesus' work on the Cross in vain as it pertains to your life. 
       Move on, and move on in the RIGHT direction.  A smart mouse knows where the traps are and will never go toward the cheese on top of the trap. Either they've seen their little mouse homies get murked, or they've had enough close calls to know not to go there again.  Don't fall for the same traps, no matter how tempting the cheese looks. 
      Don't be like Judas. Don't let your guilt stop you from your relationship with God. 
      Repent, and keep it movin'.

Stevie Wonder's Twitter Page

This is SO wrong yet so hysterically funny. Hell, even Stevie himself makes jokes about him driving, etc.

Whitney Houston Live At GMA (Raw Video)

Wow. Whitney's voice just isn't the same. I think sales will be pretty good though.


Full Force On "The Breakfast Club"